Confuzzled

You guys, I am very confuzzled.

This is going to be a post with lots of thoughts that might be incomplete. You might not know the whole story behind all my thoughts. I'm sorry if that's the case, but I feel the need to share with SOMEONE what is going on and I need to get this written out because maybe it will make more sense. Maybe. I make no guarantees. Also, you can feel welcome to post any advice, but don't feel offended if I disregard it entirely. Remember, you might not know the whole story.

Okay, that being said.....

I like Monkey Man. I really do, but I just don't know if I feel anything deeper. I thought I did, I really did. But then....I don't know it's like someone pushed a button and now I'm not really sure I feel that way. Maybe it's because the thrill has worn off a little bit. Maybe it's because I was super duper emotional all last week, plus I had a slew of extra hormones and the stress of a wedding, my teaching job giving me some grief and teaching relief society weighing heavily on my mind.

This past week there have been more times when I have felt impatient and frustrated with Monkey Man then at any other time in our relationship, but the thing is - we haven't been dating for a super long time. 2.5 months. Which compared to my relationship with SwingKid is like a drop in the bucket. Not that I plan on dating someone for a bazillion years before marrying them....but 2.5 months is not a long time. I know that I don't know everything about him and I realized that in the past few days. We treat different situations VERY differently. We have different thought processes on how certain things should work. It's not on anything that is a deal-breaker for me....but how many of those differences can one have before they equal a deal-breaker?

Before you ask, no I haven't talked to Monkey Man about this. For two reasons 1) I'm still not sure what all of my hang-ups are - I just know they are there and that they seem to be really really big. But that just might be my imagination and 2) I'm nervous that it's going to mean breaking up (or something maybe not! but i just don't know) and doing THAT scares me. Monkey Man is the sweetest guy in the whole wide world and I don't want to hurt him. (Plus I've never had to really break up with someone before. I suck at it.) We get along really well...it's just...I'm not sure if he's someone that I want to be with for forever. He's going out of town in two weeks for a weekend and I think that's going to be really good for me. (even though I just was away from him for 9 days for Christmas...it just....was different then. something changed. Seriously, some elf pushed a button.)

I don't even know what I'm asking, or if I'm asking anything. This is one of those battles in love that bugs me. I just don't know what to do, but right now NOTHING feels right. There's a small part of me that wouldn't mind going on dates with other people right now....and I don't know if that's just because I'm confuzzled and I want to run away from the situation - or if it's a sign that it might be time to move one from this phase of my life. The thing is....I know that if I say anything or suggest even the slightest thing is going to completely blindside this poor, sweet boy. sigh. Any wise words my friends? I certainly could use them.

Thursday Things

Hi guys. things are crazy. When are they not crazy right? but really....this time of year is always nuts-o in the office and this year is NO exception. I have just a few thoughts that I want to share with y'all today.

• I went to the temple last night with members of my ward. It was so wonderful to be there with my friends. I love going to the temple and last night was no exception. I had a wonderful expereince and can't wait to repeat it sometime in the near future.

• Tonight Monkey Man is taking me salsa dancing. :o) 

• I'm nervous and I think I know why. See...the last time a significant other took me dancing it was SwingKid and it was @ Blue Tango - a venue we frequented often when we were dating and a place I still frequent. (In fact, I'm ditching Blue Tango tonight for salsa dancing.) And I'm just nervous about dancing with Monkey Man. I'm sure he's a fabulous dancer...but it's still a little nerve wracking. I'm sure it will be fine, but for now I'm nervous.

• I leave for VA in 13 days. I have WAY too much to do between now and then. I have no idea how I'm going to get everything done in the next 13 days. GAH!

• Have I mentioned that work is insane? Yeah. INSANE.

I am pretty sure there are more things that I was going to share with you. Unfortunately, my brain is not working very well these days. I think it has something to do with a) the insanity at work and b) being twitterpated. ;) Hope you all have a great evening. I'm pretty sure I'll be back tomorrow. ;)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Hello my dears! I hope you are having the most splendid (or spookiest) Halloween ever! Mine has been pretty spectacular so far. This weekend had it's up and it's downs - but unlike Nottingham, the ups have definitely outweighed the downs. I've been trying to figure out how to best tell you all that has gone on...I think we'll do a day-by-day update. okay? okay!!

Friday

Friday was the "down" part of the weekend. I was ornery all day long, I was exhausted and I pretty much felt like crap. I've been fighting cold symptoms all week long and I just felt icky. I picked up a free pizza that I earned from Papa John's and sat on my couch moaning the demise of my BYU Cougars to the TCU frogs. sigh. I went to bed at 9:20 pm and slept for 10.5 hours. BEST THING EVER.

Saturday

I woke up feeling SO refreshed. I ran my 5k and did SO WELL!!!! I don't know my exact time (yet) but I know that it was better than the last time I ran a 5k. I'll be sure to post my time once I get it. ;) After that I came home and did a few pointless things before going on a TRIPLE date that I put together last minute.

See....I had this Groupon for miniature golfing for up to 6 people. (it was only $9!) It expired on 10/30 and so when SwingKid and I were driving home from the race I asked if he and his new girlfriend (who was in his Master's program. She's so nice and I'm happy they are dating) wanted to go. He asked if it would be weird,  I said no. So plans were made. I asked Monkey Man if he was available and he said YES! THEN looking for 2 more people, I thought of Surfer Boy (who has just started dating A* a girl in my ward who is one of my best friends and I just love that these two are dating!) and texted him, and him and A* were definitely in! So, if you were paying attention...I went on a triple date with my former crush and his GF and my ex and his GF. Weird? Not at all. ha ha ha ha. I didn't warn Monkey Man prior to this excursion that my ex was going to be there, but it did come up at one point. He laughed at me and told me that I had a weird relationship with him. I concurred with that statement. However, it was great fun being with two other couples doing something as simple as miniature golfing. After that triple date there was Stake Conference (which I will probably talk about more tomorrow) and then after THAT I went over to Monkey Man's place and we watched Captain America. :o) SO MUCH FUN! It was a great Saturday. :D

Sunday

I got to sleep in a little bit (no extra meetings!) and then went to Stake Conference. Monkey Man sat by me and at one point during church I looked over and thought, "oh my gosh. I have a boyfriend." It continues to amaze/shock me that I'm dating someone. It just sort of happened. And while I am not complaining, I am constantly finding myself in awe of the fact that I am dating someone. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I mean, really?! How does one just POOF find themselves in a relationship? Anyways, it feels nice to be with him and yet I don't feel this overwhelming dread when I don't see him. I am still me, still doing my own thing but with someone that I can share things with and I think that is the best possible thing EVER.

After church my roommate and I worked on her Halloween costume. I sewed a detachable wedding dress train to a shirt and then we went outside and trashed said wedding dress. It was AWESOME. I even drove around the block with the dress hanging out of my car. BEST THING EVER. She's one awesome zombie bride today! I finished off my evening with Ward Prayer and The Little Mermaid. :o) LOVE that movie so much.

So there you go. A not so little nutshell of a weekend...but fun none-the-less. Tonight Monkey Man is having a Halloween Party that I'm going to and all-in-all it should be a pretty good day. :o) Have a spooky kind of day!

Thursday Things

Hello my dears! Yesterday was quit the craptastic kind of day and I am soooo glad that it is finally Thursday! Thursdays are usually really good days in the office - plus they always consist of fun things for me in my personal life. :o) Even though I have to work tomorrow (ick) it will be all good because it is finally the weekend! So let's get to this shall we? I have lots of fun things to tell you!

• Like I mentioned earlier yesterday was a really awful day. I came home from work and instead of getting myself to the gym like I should have - I took a 1.5 hour nap. That was WONDERFUL. 

• My Halloween costume consists of me using my superhero costume from my birthday. However, since going to the temple it's a little short for every day wear and seeing as how I want to wear out in public....yeah I added a purple ruffle to the bottom. It's 90% done and looks AWESOME.

• Speaking of Halloween....I have SO MANY different things going on TOMORROW alone! I have to choose and decide what I am going to go to, but I just feel cool that I have so many options.

• Tonight I'm dressing up for ballet class AND for Blue Tango's Halloween Bash. :o) I'm excited to dance in my costume. It's going to be GRAND!

• Last night I played volleyball and Monkey Man did show up. I got teased endlessly by several ward members but it was all good. We left at the same time and were able to talk for a little bit in the parking lot. He's a sweetheart and while nothing is "official" we did talk about how fast we want this relationship to go - and we're both on the same page with wanting it to not fly out of control. I feel good about things and I don't think I'll be going out with anyone else for a little bit... :o) I did get a couple of kisses goodnight. I forgot how nice it is to kiss someone goodnight. 

• Seriously, I slept VERY well last night and I am attributing about 50% of that nice sleepingness to the good night kisses I received before going to bed. ;)

• We don't have any set plans for the weekend....but I know he's not about to back down, I'm just not going to see him every day at this point. And like I mentioned to him - that's what I am trying to work on. See....when SwingKid and I broke up we had been dating for 2.5 years. We were at the point where I did see him every day, talked to him throughout the day and went through withdrawals when those things didn't happen. So I have forgotten how to gradually get to that point. I told that to Monkey Man last night and to be patient with me. I'm trying really hard not to get too crazy and to keep doing all the fun things I've been doing without a boyfriend and once we decide to get a little more serious then I'll see him more often and we'll incorporate each other more into our lives. Until then though....I'm NOT going to freak out and I'm going to continue to enjoy my life with a little added bonus of someone that I'm dating. ;)

• We have Stake Conference this weekend and I just love Stake Conference. It is always SO GOOD. I'm looking forward to not having any extra meetings as well. :o) 

• I am feeling really good about today. It is going to rock. Hard Core.

• I'm running in this 5k on Saturday with SwingKid. I'm hoping my time is better than the last 5k I ran unknowingly on a torn ACL. :o)

• The work day started with me finishing putting out a fire that was discovered yesterday while listening to Journey's Don't Stop Believin'. Nothing can go wrong when that is the first song on your Pandora station.

• My hair looks cute today. The end.

• I'm wearing a comfy sweater today - see....nothing is going to be awful about today! I KNOW IT!

• Pretty much, life is much better today compared to yesterday and I'm a happier camper for it. here's hoping everything continues to go swimmingly.

Have a great day everyone!  :o) I know I will!!!

The Versatile Blogger

Today I feel  very honored. Maggie B. from Finding Myself awarded me with this little blog award. In all of my six years of blogging this is the very first award I have ever received!

There are some rules to this whole award business and they are as follows:

1. Link back to the blogger that originally awarded you
2. List out 7 things about yourself
3. Give this award to 15 other *newly discovered* blogs

 I have posted several get to know you things over the years and as I sit here thinking of 7 things I'm not sure if I've told you these things in the past or not. However, it's my blog and I really don't care. ;) ha. so there.

1. I love to eat cake for breakfast. When it's my birthday and I make (or my sister makes) a cake I always make sure to have some leftover for breakfast the day after. :o) I don't care if it makes me fat. I'll run an extra mile for that cake.


2. I love running through the grass barefoot but 9 times out of 10 I prefer to wear socks when in the house. Odd, I know. 


3. I have to always have chapstick with me. Preferably of the Natural Ice variety. I think I have about 5 sticks right now all in different places so that I always have some within reach.


4. I can totally get ready in ten minutes or less. I might not look amazing, but I can do it.


5. Try as hard as I can, I can't seem to make a boy wait for me when he comes to pick me up for a date. Seriously, I'm such a good time manager (humble I know) when it comes to getting ready that I am ALWAYS ready JUST as they are ringing the doorbell or even 5 minutes before. I even TRY to start getting ready later just so I can make them wait just a little bit...it doesn't work. Even when I was dating SwingKid it didn't work. 


6. I have a thing for gorgeous shoes. I love shoes. A lot. 


7. Lately there are some days that I really wish I had a boyfriend and then there are other days when I am SO glad that I am single. 

There you go. Seven, VERY random things about me.

And now for me to dish out this award to other people. I admit, that I am very much stalker when it comes to reading blogs. There are so many random people I follow. Now, I am bending the rules just a little bit. Like Maggie, I don't have 15 versatile, *newly discovered* blogs that I felt like I could award this blogging award to at this time.So, I'm only awarding this award to four people. I know! It's not very many and not even a third of the "required" amount. But....I don't think there is any blogging policemen out there who are going to come and take my award away and really this is a great way for YOU to meet new bloggers! Exciting, right?! s (also, some of them I may or may not have been following for a while and they may or may not know that! ;) ) so the peeps I'm giving this award to are as follows:

1. Meg from "The Adventures of Me" This girl...I find her so full of awesome. She's straightforward, honest, blunt and tells her stories THE BEST WAY. Love stalking reading her blog.


2.  jessie jean from "messie jessie." I LOVE this girl. She's a former ballet student of mine (HI SWEETIE!) and I've just "come out" and let it be known that I read about stalk her life. She'll appreciate that I'm sure. ;)


3.  Rasha from "and this is what She said" I might or might not have commented on her "tell me a secret tuesday" meme and I amy or may not have commented before...regardless I love her thoughts and little notes she posts. she's adorable.


4.  Kayla from "Freckles in April" She recently hosted my favorite part about the month of August - the 21 Day Challenge (maybe you saw some of my posts on that? ha!) I think she's a great example of someone who is a mom and stays up to date on fashion and what not. Also, she's super nice!

So that's it! Huzzah for getting an award!!!! :o) Have a great hump day all y'all.

the morning after

Opening Night last night was FANTASTIC!!! It honestly was oh so magical! We had a really good crowd and it felt good to be performing for a real-live audience and not just our directors, producers and stage managers. We had a great audience that laughed and clapped and were just fabulous. I had several friends come including friends from my ward, ballet students and my codirector, and SwingKid and a friend of his. Among friends from my ward was Leviticus (remember him?) he gets a special shout-out because he brought me FLOWERS!!! I love flowers and I especially love getting flowers after performing. Makes my heart happy inside. and outside. :o)

SwingKid and I chit-chatted for quite some time after the show was over and everyone else was gone. I am glad that he and I are friends. We understand each other in ways that others don't and so it's nice to still have a connection with him even though we aren't dating anymore.

I am a little tired this morning as I sit at work, but I did make it on time, (unlike last week) and I'm excited for this weekend's performances. It shall be good times y'all, good times!

I think we'll finish up this post with a little Friday Fill-Ins fun! It's been awhile since I participated, so here we go!

1. How can I express my true feelings on the matter? It's so hard sometimes.

2. I remember having to wake up early when I was little so I could weed the garden. I hated it!

3. My hair is bugging the crap out of me. I'm ready for a change, but I'm not sure what I want to do with it next.

4. I love having friend get togethers that turn into min-reunions. Makes my heart happy.

5. My favorite summer fruits are strawberries, rhubarb and watermelon. Oh happy day.

6. Sometimes I just stop and stare and think...what was that?

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Night 2 of Aida! Huzzah!, tomorrow my plans include laundry, sleeping in, errands, a presidency meeting and Night 3 of Aida (not necessarily in that order) and Sunday, I want to get through my first Sunday as Relief Society President! EEK! Makes me nervous!

Tender Mercy Tuesday - 31st Edition

Friends, I am so very blessed. Truly, very blessed. I love being able to take time each Tuesday to reflect on my life and all the small blessings that I have been given each day. I've had many blessings the past few days and I want to share them with you.

• I am getting a new calling at church and I'm rather excited about it. It's not going to be easy for me, but I always like a challenge. The tender mercy with this has been the personal revelation I've already received in conjunction with my calling. It feels good to know that Heavenly Father is looking out for me.

• My social life is such a blessing. Percy and I ended up moving our lunch date to today and it was so good to see him again. He's such a great guy and I love being able to spend time with him - even if it is so sporadic right now. I also have had fun times going one other dates here and there. I don't know where anything is going with any of these guys and that's okay right now. I definitely feel the need to take a little bit of time and step back and analyze my feelings for everyone involved. I feel bad because I want to go out with everyone every weekend - but I just can't do that right now. I literally have no time for anything in the evenings. Hopefully none of the guys think I'm blowing them off...except for Grizzly Bear. He can think that, since I'm definitely not interested in him in that way.

• I'm getting a new roommate next week. Some of you might remember the hubabaloo trying to get a 3rd roommate last year - this year it was a piece of cake. I hope she's nice and fits into the groove we have. I'm just thankful that we were able to sell her portion of the contract so quickly.

In the long run - I'm feeling very blessed. I have amazing friends that I can talk to and share my thoughts and feelings on life.

Just a side note on this whole dating thing - I think I'm realizing that dating is HARD. ha ha ha, I mean, I knew that already and what not - but things with SwingKid were so quick and easy that we didn't have to deal with the hard stuff of going out with other people at the same time, wondering about feelings, showing affection, etc.  And now....now I have to do all those things. In some ways it is a lot of fun to date a lot of people and stuff like that but it confuses my head and my heart. At some point I know I need to make decisions but for now I'm just going to focus on the musical. and my new calling. :)

a few Thursday Things

good morning dear friends. I am a little sore and achey this morning after my first AIDA rehearsal last night. However, let me just say this: This show is going to be INCREDIBLE. I am so excited to be a part of it!

anywho. moving on.

• miraculously my body isn't in THAT much pain. Just my arms. Which seems a tad odd to me seeing as how we don't do a TON with our arms...but that's where the most soreness lies. My arms.

• work has been insanely busy. my desk is still a disaster.

• I really sort of like Percy.

• I am really excited about my date this weekend with Percy. It should be SO MUCH fun.

• Remember how I sang a solo in church on Sunday? Yeah....it went pretty well. Everyone says it sounded good. Which is good.

• I saw this poster the other day on someone else's blog and now it has me all worried about dying. I sit at a desk for 9 hours people. Death is imminent.

• I have a friend who's blog I stalk (she's FABULOUS) and she posted the other day on unexpected blessings. I feel like she perfectly articulates what I've been feeling as of late after SwingKid broke up with me. 

• Another dear friend of mine posted a HUGE list of everything awesome to do in Utah this summer. I know I'll definitely be doing some of the things off this list.

• I love that I get to be in a show. It's definitely going to be a different experience...but I'm really excited about it.

• I am all twitterpated.

So there you go. a few  random things. I love things. I also love that is almost the weekend. The End.

Sixth of June

So...I sort of haven't blogged in five days. I apologize. I really do. See...Thursday was just very, very busy at work and then I was busy all night and what not...and then I just didn't get a chance to blog this weekend. :o) I was having too much fun! So...let's kind of do a little bit of a recap of what happened. I have more boy updates for you. I'm sure you're excited about that. ;)

So...Percy. Percy called me Thursday to reschedule our lunch date. See...he had a meeting come up and couldn't get out of it no matter how hard he tried. Unfortunately he called while I was at work and so we ended up playing phone tag all night, and we haven't connected yet. So, the date is on hold which makes me really sad because I do want to go out with him, so I'm hoping it happens sometime soon.

Grizzly Bear and I hung out Wednesday night and watched Beauty and the Beast and chatted. He also kissed me. Now, I have this set of rules for kissing. The main one being that I kiss someone when there's going to be a commitment involved. Well. I sort of kissed Grizzly Bear without having been on a date (ha. done THAT before!) and it was really nice. He's a really good kisser and I do enjoy it......but honestly? I'm sort of freaking out. A LOT. Now, we've been on a date since he kissed me. (I told him he had to) We went to a movie Saturday afternoon/evening. It was enjoyable. However, I don't think I'm ready to make some kind of commitment to him at this point in time. He's in my ward and while I don't mind dating in the ward I am not ready to tell the ward that I'm dating him (like by holding his hand or something). Anyways....I realize that it having been only a week, that I shouldn't worry about it defining what we are and what not right now. I think part of it is from dating SwingKid for so long and I want to be in the same place I was with him with someone else - but I don't want to go through the process. I sort of forget that SwingKid and I went through a process to get to the point of seeing each other every day, always kissing hello/goodbye, to understanding each others quirks....you get the idea. I want that same kind of thing (who doesn't! It's a wonderful thing to have!) but I forget that it CAN'T happen immediately and that's why I am freaking out. Part of me feels like I need to have it immediately although to be honest I'm not ready for that emotionally. I just like to have it. It makes me feel safe and so here I am sort of pseudo-dating this boy that I'm not sure is going to go anywhere. I realize that you have to take risk and move forward and TRY things...but I hate leading boys on. I feel like I should feel more for him (maybe?) then I am and I just have NO IDEA what I'm doing! To be honest, I really REALLY want the date (when it happens) with Percy to go well and have it lead to more dates quickly. Is it bad that I'm still wanting to date other people? A lot? And take The Australian....I still like him. I'm not sure anything we've got is EVER going to lead anywhere....but he's just so awesome and what not. Sigh. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't think I've really been in this predicament before.

Anyways, now that I've rambled on about that for forever....let's move on.

The wedding is in 10 days. EEK! Although really, everything is done for it and I think I'm good to go. :o) I finished the guest book last night and it is adorable!! I'm excited for my plans for my wedding gift to Sister B and her soon-to-be husband. :o) It will turn out super cute.  I found the most ADORABLE white shirt for the wedding. I'm very happy with it. I also got 2 other new shirts (all at JC Penny's) for a STEAL. I also went to the ModBod outlet store in Springville and got cute new shirt/jacket that is kelly green, a bright pink belt and a new swimsuit - all for $33. I am AWESOME.

Anywho, life is pretty good. I'm getting my hair done this week and I have a few other pampering things that are going to happen that I'm pretty excited about. :o) Hopefully I can just keep calm and carry on these next two weeks. I'm trying to enjoy the time as much as possible because I know it's going to FLY by me. :o) until next time my dear friends...ciao!

planless Friday

I have zero plans for tonight. I might end up cleaning my room (doesn't that sound like fun?) or wallowing in self-pity over this cold that is slowly attacking me. I thought it might just be allergies, but the more I have to blow my nose, the more I think it is sickness. Ugh.

Anywho, last night I got myself off my lazy butt and went to Blue Tango. It had been a long time since I had last been and I had a blast. The crowd was awesome. So many cool people were there and I danced several dances. I even saw SwingKid, and no it wasn't weird. We danced a couple of dances, sat in the corner and caught up on life - the things friends do when they see each other! It was great. I really had a blast.

Thanks for all your advice concerning my issues yesterday - I'd still love to hear your thoughts if you feel so inclined.

Finally, I'll leave you the Friday Fill-ins  for the week. :o) Happy Friday guys!


1. For me, it was not a question of when, but a question of how.

2. I really need to go grocery shopping at my local supermarket.

3. Behind the sound of the wind in the trees, I heard the hum of the bees.

4. Go skydiving is something I always wanted to do.

5. When it was over, and after time had passed, I knew it was right to end things.

6. I might have felt lonely at times, but I never felt alone.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a night unplanned - something fun will happen!, tomorrow my plans include the normal teaching schedule plus a blind date and Sunday, I want to meet new people in my new ward!

Tender Mercy Tuesday - 8th Edition

Here we are, another Tuesday. I can't believe how quickly time has passed since I started this meme. Week 8 guys! Seriously?! time flies.

Anyways. Tender Mercies for the past week:

• I had a couple of awesome spiritual experiences this week. I love those. They help strengthen both my testimony and my resolve. It definitely helps one get over some humps.
• After a not so pleasant evening one day last week I had a friend call me who I hadn't talked to in almost 2 months. It was a wonderful conversation and the things we talked about reminded me why I didn't need to be sad.
• Per yesterday's post - being able to talk to SwingKid and get over that initial post-break up conversation was SO good. I know it is going to take time to just be friends, but I do believe it is possible. 
• I was cleaning up some files on my computer and I discovered a list I made a long time ago of 100 things that I like. I did some tweaking to update it a little bit and then created a Wordle. click on the image below to see 100 things I like!

• Although my knee has been bothering me a little bit the past few days it hasn't hindered my ability to get anything done. :o) Thank goodness!

Anyways, I love doing these posts because they definitely help me remember all the good things happening in my life. There is SO MUCH good!  Anything good happening in your life you'd like to share?

Bravery

Sometimes I pretend to be brave and sometimes I am ACTUALLY brave.

Saturday I pretended to be brave, but yesterday - yesterday I was actually brave.

Yesterday after my church meetings and after choir I introduced myself to a new guy in the ward. I talked to him for a long time and I feel like we clicked just a little bit. I felt so good about myself for getting my flirt on and what not. GO ME!

Also, I was brave yesterday because I initiated an online conversation with SwingKid. This is the first time that we've had a real-time conversation in eight weeks and it was good. I held my breath a couple of times, but overall it was good.

I am excited for today - if only because the countdown to the show begins. :o) The next 10 days are going to be busy. I have a laundry date with my sister, a temple trip to make, friends to see, dentist appointments to make,  a couple hours of rehearsal (we still have to finish our piece! EEK!), a Winter-een-mas party, a Saturday FULL of rehearsals and then a show to present. It is going to be a full week and I am excited for it.

I just want to jump on a rooftop...

AND PROCLAIM MY HAPPINESS!!!!!!

Seriously, I am SO happy right now. Life is just oh so good and it makes my heart swell.  I haven't been this happy in so long  it blows my mind that I thought that everything was okay the way it was. Not to say that the way it was was BAD....but guys! LIFE IS AMAZING RIGHT NOW!!!

{source}

I really wish that a)I had a rooftop to yell from and b)it wasn't so cold outside so that I actually would yell things from the rooftop. How awesome would that be? (First image that pops into my head when I think of yelling  from the rooftops? The fiddler from Fiddler on the Roof at the opening of the show.)

ALSO before we get to Friday Fill-Ins I just want to tell you something awesome that happened last night. Before rehearsal (which went SO well) I was reading The Holy Temple by Boyd K. Packer.  I only read the first chapter last night, but the Spirit was so strong while I was reading and I KNEW that the words I was reading were true! I felt so good while reading and I know this book is exactly what I need in my life right now. I am loving it!

Anyways...now to less heavier things. FRIDAY FILL-INS!!! YAY!! :o)

And...here we go!

1. So many of us seem to float through life. Let me tell you, it is NOT WORTH IT. DO NOT FLOAT!

2. I believe it is possible to always be happy, even in hardship.

3. Those who are accepting of the light of Christ WILL BE HAPPY.

4. Somewhere the love of my life is waiting quietly.

5. Light is in both the moon and the stars.

6. Sometimes I forget of all that is ordinary.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner and a movie with a friend, tomorrow my plans include class/rehearsal, cleaning my car and deep cleaning my house (oh man it needs it) and Sunday, I want to get all my visiting teaching done!

{source}

Dating Battle Stories: Sweetums - Part One

{artwork by Roommate A}

Mondays are usually no fun at all. So, to make coming back from the weekend a little bit better I have my last dating recap for you! This one has to be my favorite - which is why it has been saved for last! :o) Today's recap is all about Sweetums. This story ended up being really long, so I've decided to post it in two different posts. :o)

so, without further ado - Part One.

So, I have to start off this story with a little bit of background by saying that Sweetums and I did, in fact, go to high school together. Our groups of friends overlapped, but I never went out with him or hung out with him on a regular basis in high school. After graduating we got to be better friends and talked online all the time. I developed a huge crush on him. During our first semester as freshman at BYU he would stop by my place of employment and say hi all the time. He took me on a group date with his friends once and then about a month later I took him to Fall Preference. It was tons of fun. Then, he went on a mission for our Church. He got back and I was kind of dating someone, then he was dating someone, then we were both dating someones. During this time (aka the past 3 years) we would hang out from time to time, see each other at friends' weddings, talk online, etc. Every time I saw him I was reminded of how awesome this guy is, but wouldn't do anything about it. (usually because of the current relationship status.)

About 6 weeks before SwingKid and I broke up, Sweetums and I had a really good, long conversation about life and what I was doing and how my relationship was going. I got the feeling that Sweetums wished I was single...but didn't dwell on that fact. 3 days after SwingKid and I broke up I got the feeling that I needed to call up Sweetums. Using my favorite social media site Facebook, I sent a message to Sweetums telling him we need to hang out. We talked about 4 days after that and had a really good long conversation that I vaguely mentioned here.

The second Saturday in December I had plans to get some Christmas gifts made for my ballet company, but those plans fell through when the supplies were giving me issues. Sweetums happened to see my online, asked if I'd be available and later called me to hang out. We got some food and then ended up at his place (with a real fireplace!) and roasted marshmallows, starbursts and played video games. Much flirting ensued. We also watched a Muppet movie. I vaguely mentioned this event in this post.

Right before I left to go to Virginia he and I made plans to watch a movie and hang out. I mentioned that here and here. That night was a blast. As I mentioned here, I ended up pulling an all-nighter. We watched the movie and then just got to talking. We were also hanging out with Roommate A and her boyfriend and ended up playing Guitar Hero for several hours. We made mac and cheese at 2 am (such a single thing to do!) and then watched Invader Zim for a little bit. As Roommate A and her boyfriend fell asleep in the cuddle chair, Sweetums and I cuddled on the couch. We ended up talking about a ton of different things and he asked me if he could kiss me. Unfortunately for him I had decided to not kiss anyone until the new year. (I had several reasons for this) We also talked about "us." Some might say we had a DTR. It wasn't meant to be that...but it's kind of what it turned into. Basically...we both admitted to feeling attracted to the other person (and having those feelings for a long time) and we want to explore the possibility of a relationship, but we don't want to rush into anything. I want to date lots of people and he said he wasn't ready to commit to a serious relationship yet. (key word being yet. :o) ) The evening (or should I say morning?) ended about 15 minutes before Roommate A and I left for the airport. Sweetums and I had tentative plans for New Year's Eve - and I knew he and I would be in touch. I was one happy camper getting on the plane that morning. :o)

...........to be continued..........

Tender Mercy Tuesday

One month ago today my life turned upside down. I was tossed about in crashing waves of a break-up that hurt more than I ever thought possible.

One month ago I said good-bye to the person I loved.

One month ago I discovered that there is more to me than being the other half of a relationship.

One month ago I had outpourings of love from unlikely places.

One month ago I decided that I would embody D&C 6:36

One month ago I discovered that I could be happy again.

That is my Tender Mercy today. Without knowing it the breakup that tore my world upside down, the one that I thought would kill me turned out to be one of the better things to happen to me. I know that sounds awful and part of me hates saying that I am so much happier right now. I loved SwingKid, I really did. (and to be honest I still do. a part of me will always love him) However, our relationship had reached a stalemate point. Neither of us was moving or going anywhere we were just frozen in time with each other.

Life is not meant to be lived in stalemate. Life is to be full of changes and challenges.  We need to be moving and growing in order to feel fulfilled. I didn't realize it then but my life was not being fulfilled. My life seemed to be in limbo (side note: you definitely need to follow that link Heather does a great job describing how I was feeling in SO MANY WAYS) and I didn't know where I was going.

I know where I am going now. I have a purpose. I am FLOURISHING. I still miss SwingKid. My heart still aches for him in the still moments of my life. However, I don't hate him for doing what he did to my heart. In fact, I respect him a lot for having the courage to act on the realization that we were in stalemate. This event was necessary for me to realign myself with my path in life. I am back on my path.

Finally, let me leave you with this little tidbit from Mormon Messages. It is so wonderful and a great reminder to all of us about moving forward.

2010: The Recap

For the past few years I have done a recap of my year and the highlights of said year (2007, 2008, 2009).  This year I don't feel like putting as much work into a recap (much like last year). Mostly because reliving my past year will bring up some sad feelings in my heart and I'm not wanting to do that to myself.  SO! Instead I've decided to give you my favorite post from each month. I do like looking over the past and seeing what I've accomplished. So here you go...a recap of Alishka Babushka and her life.....

January

The best part of January (that month always seems to suck, ya know?) was the fact that I hit my 3-month mark in ACL recovery. Awesome-sauce.

February

impending doom is never a fun thing, but it does lead to some fun conversations with on-line friends. it also leads to fun blog posts.

March

March was kind of a crazy month and some interesting things happened. I had my birthday and that rocked...but I also got a little confused (though that's no surprise to some people).

April

April was a REALLY good month. However, the best part was easily the day when I got told my knee was good as new! woo hoo!

May

May was a roller coaster month. But there was a gem of a blog post that appeared. Makes me happy.

June

June was a fairly eventful month and I had a hard time choosing a post that was my favorite. I really liked the month of June.  However, I forgot that I read one of my favorite reads of 2010 in the month of June. I shared a review of this book with you in conjunction with my Day Zero goals. Go take a looksee!

July

July was a crappy month overall. I'm surprised I survived it to tell you the truth. The best post is probably the wordiest one of the month...i warn you though, it's not necessarily cohesive.

August

well...It seems my summer months were just kind of lame when it came to posting! I think I know why...but anyways. I guess the best post would be just one of mum-drum ones of the month...that's all i seemed to post! Oh well...Moving on.

September

September was a better month, although I did suffer from some nightmares....

October

October was an interesting month. I celebrated the one year anniversary of my new ACL, but I also struggled to find motivation for working out. I have since found said motivation...but it's interesting to me to see when I finally kicked it into gear. :o)

November

The beginning of the holiday rush. I happened to have a good November and was sunny, spunky, and stealthy. :o)

December

this is a hard one. Obviously, the biggest thing to happen to me happened at the very beginning of the month, but my favorite post so far has been the introductions...guess i'll just leave you with both of them. :o)

Well...there you go. A glimpse of 2010. I am already making plans for 2011. I have dreams and plans and so many other things. We'll see what all comes true...but come back tomorrow to find out my Word of the Year - aka my theme for 2011. :o) Happy New Year!

Thursday Things

Welcome to the second addition of ..... {drum roll}

Today's things are brought to you from a sleep deprived Alishka Babushka. I've been trying to find my wings again in the single world and be the social butterfly I know I can be each and every day. (that sounded so cheesy.) I think I'm doing fairly well if I do say so myself. (I still miss SwingKid. someday I'll write about my experience, but I'm not ready yet to do that here.)

Anyways. let's get on with the things of today shall we?

• Sweaters are warm when it is cold outside. But by the late afternoon it's way too hot in my office to be wearing a sweater. sigh. 

• I get to DANCE and PERFORM again! YAY! Most of the directors from the studio I teach at are going to do a director's piece. I am so so so excited at this opportunity to dance again! I'll keep you posted on ticket buying and stuff, because let's be honest...you're gonna want to see me dance!

• Tomorrow is my day off. This makes me happy.

• I have more stories. I really need to just be brave enough to tell them....once I get a certain thing from my roommate then I will create another meme. Maybe. :o) 

There you go. Thursday Things. What are some of the things on your mind today?

Forgotten

I had a post idea for today, but now I can't remember what I REALLY TRULY wanted to say.

I have lots of stories. Well. Maybe only two stories. They are about boys. (yes, boys, plural) Said boys need 'nyms. I am not feeling up to coming up with creative 'nyms. I might just use random, weird names. When I do, I will tell the stories.

I have semi-plans for New Year's Eve. What I really have is a girlfriend picking me up from the airport and a boy (from the stories) that wants to hang out and do stuff. We need a game plan. Suggestions for free stuff for New Year's Eve?

I have found music that sort of describes my feelings on how things are now that SwingKid and I are no longer dating. However, one of the songs could be classified as an angry girl song. I am not angry, but the lyrics work. But i wonder if people would really understand if I shared it here.

I am happy.

Utah is having a warm spell. I'm hoping this means VA will have a warm spell when I get there in 9 DAYS.

the end.

weekend: the good and the ugly

things that happened this weekend that i WANT to talk about:

• i bought new boots. really really cute boots. and they were on sale and then even more on sale when i got to the cash register. which was seriously the best thing ever.

• my sister spent the weekend with me. she's awesome. the end.

• i got a blue-ray player as my christmas bonus from work this year. i'm excited to get it plugged in.

• i bought a router for my apt to get wireless internet and i WAS having issues with it, but i am so smart that i figured it out and now i have wireless. yay yay yay.

things that happened this weekend that i DON'T want to talk about

• the ridiculousness of some people (who will not be named) from the studio i teach for. ugh. politics.

• SwingKid and I broke up. I'll probably be MIA for the next few days. I'm just trying to live each day as it comes...because for now that's all i can do.

(comments off. sorry.)

thoughts today

• my running program is treating me so well. I need something similar for weight lifting. After this program ends, (and I start it again at a faster speed to reduce my 5k time) i hope to add strength training to my workout so I can trim down some fat.

• I really want to dance again. another director and i are hoping to do a "directors" piece this year in the gala. we'll see how that goes down.

• tonight is my work Christmas party. It should be fun....although they are serving fish and I hate fish. so that sucks. but the party itself should be fun. :o)

• i'm going dancing tonight. hurrah! i haven't been to Blue Tango in several weeks and I am much looking forward to tonight's dance.

• I don't work tomorrow, but I don't feel like I have the day off. See...tomorrow my cute company girls are presenting "Clara's Nutcracker" along with a bunch of jazz Christmas pieces at 4 different elementary schools. It should be fun.

• Three weeks from yesterday I fly to VA. 20 days. CRAZY!!

• I bought SwingKid's present today. I think he'll like it. I sure hope he will.

• My parent's gift is going to ROCK! I got some amazing news about it yesterday but seeing as how they both read this we'll keep it a secret. If I remember, I'll tell you about it after Christmas.

• I decorated for Christmas and my house looks SO CUTE. I love Christmas decorations

• Have I mentioned how GOOD  I feel lately? I attribute it to my running program. It is doing amazing things for me and I am SO SO SO happy I decided to do this couch to 5k program. :o)

one year ago
two years ago