Friday, August 19, 2011

disappearing act

so remember how I was SO excited about my date with BM2? Well he called me yesterday on my lunch break to cancel. Basically he told me he wasn't in a place to date right now, he doesn't want to lead me on so we're not going out this weekend or anytime in the very near future. We're going to stay friends because he thinks I'm awesome and stuff. Plus he said he wants to be ready to date soon and when he is we might try things out then. So for now...we're friends and we'll hang out in the future and stuff. (and before you freak out and say, "Why Alishka, why?" or "He's just stupid." He had very good, personal reasons that he shared with me that I'm not gong to share with you. so there.)

while I was initially very much saddened by this turn of events, I think it's going to be good. I told my mom and one of the first things she said to me was the following: "With as many guys as let you go suddenly, Heavenly Father must have someone very special for you that isn't quite ready."

I tend to agree with my mommy. She's usually right. ;) Also, my life has kind of been a crazy roller coaster lately. I've come >this< close to having an emotional break-down for the stupidest reasons, but then again, that's how I roll. See I let the smallest things - the tiniest thorns inbed themselves inside of me and then they fester, because they're small and practically non-existent, I ignore them. Before long there is a huge collection of thorns inside of me and then the stupidest thing will push me over and I'll just break. I was sort of there at the beginning of this week. I need to be better about not letting things fester, and it's a goal of mine to do this.

Anyways, the point of me telling you all of this is I'm not going to worry about dating for a while. In fact, I'm kind of going to just step away. I'm going to continue my friendships with people I know and I plan on doing fun things all the time. However, I need to find my balance again. The musical has definitely thrown off my balance and with the ballet school year in full swing I need to figure out how life is going to go. I have major responsibilitiesat church and work and I need o put some focus on those things and make sure I'm not letting any balls drop. This does not mean that I'm just going to stop dating - if a boy asks me out I'll say yes. I'm just not going to worry about it at all. Nor am I going to renew my subscription on the dating site I've been using.

I think that's all I want to say about the subject for now. :o) Have a great day y'all!