Sunday, September 23, 2007

Nice boys are the best.

So my little sister had me join this group on Facebook. It had this list of things that girls love, and I concur with most of them. So here you go 30 things girls love, with commentary by Alishka. This is going to tell a lot about what I like in my dating life, but you know what? I don’t care.

1. Be bold. Don’t wait for her to start making the moves – just take the initiative and go for it! (Being bold is only acceptable when you’re pretty sure she likes you, though. Don’t try it otherwise.)
I love bold guys. I don’t mind making the moves sometimes, I am known for being totally willing to ask guys out, BUT I LOVE it when a guy is bold and asks me out and then after that also makes the bold move to hold my hand first. Good stuff. Boldness.

2. Place your hand on the small of her back. Keep it there gently, but firmly, when guiding her to your car or going into a movie theater (or any other place that is appropriate). Confidence in touching her is a turn on.
This is probably one of my favorite things ever. I don’t care if we’re dating or not, placing your hand in the small of my back is just great. I don’t know why, but it definitely turns me on.

3. Warm up her hands by blowing on them. This may seem like an odd courtesy, but it’s the feeling of being watched-out for that really makes this so attractive.
I’ve never had this done to me, and I don’t know how I feel about it. Hmmm….

4. It doesn’t hurt to get a little mad every now and again. Mad, that is, with a good motive – such as becoming protective about someone mistreating her. Don’t stand for that, ever.
I’ve never had someone do this either. I can see standing up for something you believe in, but I’m not sure if that is getting mad per se.

5. Buy her flowers. I don’t care how poor you are or whether or not you have a specific reason – just buy them. Save up if you need to. Every girl deserves a dozen roses just because. (And for an even more effective romantic move, find out her favorite shade of rose and buy them long-stemmed.)
Oh my gosh. This will get me every time, and I mean every time. However, I don’t know if I agree with the whole dozen roses just because, I think roses have a certain connotation to them and just getting a dozen of them for no reason doesn’t make much sense to me. I would much rather get a single rose, or even better a single or bouquet of gerbera daises (since those happen to be my favorite.) I think unusual flowers and not the normal rose goes to show you were really thinking of her and what she might want. But random flowers are always a good thing. Always.

6. Find unique ways to tell her she’s beautiful. It’s nice to hear that she’s pretty, but she loves to hear that she’s gorgeous, stunning, incredibly attractive, dazzling, lovely, striking, elegant, etcetera. (Don’t abuse this tactic though – telling her how beautiful she is TOO often ends up losing its value.)
It’s true. We love to hear how good we look. :)

7. Tell her you love her eyes and why. Every girl has beautiful eyes in her own way – so be specific. Stare into them and tell her how much you love her long eyelashes, the deep brown hue, piercing green, etcetera. (A girl’s eyes are a window to her soul, so complimenting them is a huge turn on.)
This is also a good thing. Telling her about her eyes means you really truly look at her and her features and not just the general shape of her.

8. Don’t rush your first kiss with her. Prolonging the kiss for even a little bit longer shows her you regard her with high respect (instead of just wanting to get action). If you just want to get action, then forget about it! Go find a lower-level girl instead.
In my little bit of experience, I have only had one guy who I dated who did this and that was in High School, and that was mostly because I made him wait not because he wanted to wait. I think I could be okay with a boy waiting to kiss me, but only if he didn’t wait too long. Waiting too long makes it unbearable and then I’ll be frustrated, but maybe that’s just me.

9. Kiss her nose, her forehead, her hand, her cheek, her hair. (And then there’s always her lips, too.) And wherever you’re kissing: let your lips linger there for a moment longer than they were originally going to stay.
I can’t lie, I love this; especially when a boy kisses my forehead. I just think it is like the most precious thing ever.

10. Breathe in her smell (near her neck/ears/hair) and then tell her how darn good she smells. No girl can deny how erotic it can be for a guy to breathe in her smell and be satisfied.
It’s true. I can’t deny it.

11. Hold her tightly when you hug her, or just whenever you’re holding her. (Not too tightly – just firmly enough to show that you’re there to protect her, not afraid to hold her, and love spending time with her.)
I know that as a girl I love hugs and a little extra squeeze at the end of a hug means a lot. I love being held because it does make feel like I’m protected and that’s what every girl wants. Protection.

12. Tickle her.
Well…you have to be careful with this one. Some girls hate being tickled. I’m a very ticklish person but because it usually shows me that he likes me, I’m usually okay with a guy tickling me. Usually.

13. Sweep her off her feet every once in a while – literally. Every girl watches all of the old Disney movies and wishes she had a prince charming to carry her like a princess, so do it just for kicks.
For those of you who know me in real life you know that I absolutely love Disney movies like there is no tomorrow. So for me, this is a true statement. I want to be swept off my feet, my favorite would be if I haven’t seen the boy in a while and he comes over and gives me a hug and just picks me up at the same time. That would probably be my favorite thing ever.

14. Tell her how cute she is when she’s mad. She may say how much she hates you for that, but if she’s trying to hold back that smile… then she really means she loves it.
I’ve never had this happen to me either. So I don’t know how I feel about it in real life. In my mind it sounds good.

15. Treat her like the royalty that she is. Spoil her every once in a while; plan a date or a night in with all of her favorite things.
I like the idea of this, but don’t do it all the time. For me, I usually already feel like a princess when I am out on a date with a respectable guy, but having the chance to dress up and do things with the guy I like is always be fun. I think treating a girl like royalty all the time doesn’t have to mean spoiling her and what not.

16. If you love her (and only if), then tell her.
Amen. Girls like to know how you feel. Talk, be open, and don’t hide.

17. Leave little love letters on her porch or in her e-mail Inbox. (The porch is far more romantic though, and a little bit bolder.)
This would be cute. I’ve never had a boy (take that back JH left a note once, but it wasn’t a love letter…oh no it was a much different sort of note, but it made me laugh). I think this would be cute.

18. Tell her how much you miss her. Even if you haven’t seen her for a day, she’ll feel wanted. Definitely. I like this too.

19. Tell her how good she looks when you first begin your date (or when you first see her that particular day). She spent a little extra time in front of the mirror for you, so even a small compliment makes it worthwhile.
This is so true. I don’t think I have ever gone on a date where I didn’t take one last look in the mirror to make sure everything was as perfect as it possibly could be and a compliment on the fact that you like the way I look is very reassuring.

20. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, be there. Once she’s done crying, cheer her up – be goofy, take her to her favorite restaurant, tickle her, watch a movie with her. Even small things show her you’re there for her, and that’s what matters most.
Once upon a time I got fired from a job. That same day shortly after the firing I saw a boy that I liked and we had been going out on dates for a couple of weeks. When I told him what happened, I lost it all over again, but he was a good boy and just let me cry on his shoulder and then later that night took me out to dinner. It was great. A shoulder to cry on is a great thing.

21. If you’re impressed by something she does well (like singing, dancing, cooking, etcetera) then TELL her! Brag about her to others – tell the whole world how good she is at it.
Even though the girl is probably going to deny it or be somewhat bashful about what you tell her she’s good at, she likes it. Every girl likes compliments of any kind, and showering her with sincere compliments totally raises her self-esteem.

22. When she has a competition or performance (for sports or some other activity) and she purposely doesn’t tell you when it is, she’s probably still expecting you to find out yourself and to be there. Being there, when she didn’t tell you the details, isn’t stalkerish – it’s impressive. So I’ve never hidden the fact that I have a performance or competition. I like people to come and see me. However, one time someone I knew came to a competition that wasn’t a big deal for me and seeing him there cheering me on was great. If it’s a performance and I tell you about it, I really want you to come. Sometimes I forget that I’ve told someone about my shows and so then when they come, it totally makes my day to see them there. :)

23. Talk with her. Ask her about herself, her dreams, her ambitions. Chances are she’ll want to ask you too.
This is really important to me. I honestly want to know about the guy’s dreams ambitions and what not. I would also love to share what I want my life to be like with others too. It’s a great way to get to know someone and it shows you’re a real person too.

24. Bake her something. Cookies, brownies – anything. All girls have a sweet-tooth, and the fact that you cooked it for her yourself is SO cute.
Even if it doesn’t turn out very well…it’s still very cute. Boys cooking is one of the coolest things ever.

25. Open the car door for her.
I don’t care if you’re on a date or not. Opening a car door (or any door for that matter) is very respectable. I love it when boys open the car door, and I’m not going to lie, when a boy doesn’t open the door for me (only for getting in, not getting out) they lose brownie points.

26. Never tell her she looks tired. You can tell her she sounds tired or “must be tired from all that work” but NEVER tell her she looks tired. That’s just insulting and won’t get you anywhere good with her.
I agree with this whole heartedly. Many times I know I look tired, but telling me is like sticking a knife in my heart. The other suggestions are much better.

27. Be romantic. Plan a date for once where you aren’t afraid to spend money on her or to sweep her off her feet. Sunsets are ALWAYS nice, as are upper-class restaurants or concerts.
I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I watch chick-flicks and sigh at the end because I know it could never work that way, but at the same time I always hope. So this would be great, but I don't think it's something you should it that often. Being romantic is always acceptable, but there are more ways of being romantic besides just spending money and going on dates. Those are the things that really get a girl.

28. Have fun with her. Always let her know how much you love spending time with her.
Even though being romantic is wonderful and going out on a nice date is so great, many times the best dates are the ones where we’ve just sat on the couch listening to the rain, taking a walk in the mountains during the fall, or just watching a movie. Playing games are a lot of fun, and even though group dates seem so juvenile, they can be a lot of fun. Being willing to take time out of your busy life really shows a girl how much you like her.

29. If you are starting to lose interest, tell her. She doesn’t want to find out later that you didn’t like her that whole time. Even worse – she doesn’t want you to leave without explaining. This is so true.
I had a boyfriend once where this happened, and he was so honest that it made things ten times easier. We are still friends to this day and I know it’s because we were both so honest during the entire time we were dating (even if it was only a short time.) Communication people is the best.

I’ve never had this, but it’s what I want from a significant other. This would be great.

I really like what this list had to say; however, I don' think any boy should just go out immediately and try to woo a girl by doing all of these things at once. What makes these things great is when a boy does them and it seems natural for him to be doing these different things. It shouldn't feel forced or awkward in any way. Being a nice boy and doing things to treat a girl right is what makes a girl go weak at the knees. Nice boys are the best. I know that a lot of nice boys get frustrated when it seems to be that girls only go for the punks and jerks, but really we all want nice boys. We just don't always realize that that is what we want and it takes us a little bit longer to figure it out. Just keep being yourself and I guarantee that there will be a girl that will fall head over heels for you. Trust me, being a nice boy is going to be the best thing in the long run.