Wednesday, November 02, 2005

my love and war, and right now i don't think its fair...

bah. i don't know how to approach j.a. i like him but...i don't want to scare him away. at first i was thinking that i could say ' let's just hook up j*.' but then i decided that doesn't work, so then i was thinking this could work too: 'Why are you so hesitant J*?' and he'll say ' about what?' and i'll say 'about dating me? why not just give it a go? or are you not interested and just want to be friends?' kind of like the song by Brad Paisley 'Make a Mistake with Me' It's perfect really. so now I am at he point that i think this is what i will say: i want to be honest with you, but i don't want to scare you away, i like you, but i can't keep putting in a lot with out getting anything back. so i am going to back off. know that i still like you, but i am not going to make any more moves, i am going to wait for you. if you come after me, i will follow, cause i like you. but i don't know. i really wish someone could tell me what to do, but everyone is so different, no one really knows him or what he will do, including me. well i know him, but i don't know what he'll do. and mabye i just need to tell him that last one. but who knows. i am going to the temple on friday to think about it. i really just need some guidance from someone who knows us both so well, and who better than my Heavenly Father? This is driving me nuts, it really is. I don't knwo what to do anymore about it and i think i am going insane.