double dutch...or not?

*warning I checked this in word, and it was two pages, and a little bit, so this isn't a short post...sorry its super long.*

So I am somewhat confused. Is it bad that I held hands and this guy kissed me on the cheek? You might be thinking, 'no, that’s normal for a BYU student to be doing, she's 19 and can do that kind of thing.' well let me explain the situation to you.

First of all, some background knowledge, for the sake of this blog we are going to call this guy Sky Captain. Sky Captain went to high school w/me. He was super good friends with two of the loves of my life: Mighty Mouse and Newbie. Sky Captain (lets shorten that to S.C.) left on his mission almost a year ago to Tokyo South Japan. I wrote him, like I do all of my high school boys. Well one day in March or so, S.C. calls me. And I’m thinking what the heck?? He had been injured and was home on medical release. Didn't know when he'd be going back, we talked and decided that sure maybe someday we'll hang out. Well....Newbie left on his mission in July. S.C. is still around. Poor S.C. has no friends b/c all of his friends are on missions, or are girls who, I don't know, just don't want to hang out w/the guy. He's a good guy, but He's in the middle of his mission ya know?

Well S.C. calls me last night and asks if we can go and hang out. I say sure. So he comes up from my small hometown to my Provo apartment. We talk and decide to go to Fazoli's for dinner. We go to fazoli's. It's double dutch. Which is perfectly fine b/c we're just hanging out, this is not a date right? Well we eat dinner, and we talk and what not. finally we are done and decide that we are going to go and pick a dollar movie (at this time its past 7:30) so we know its going to be a later showing and then we'll go and play miniature golf at Trafalga until our movie started. So we go to the dollar theater, and we each buy our ticket (this is still double dutch....) to see Cinderella Man, at 9:55. So since this is done, we then get back into the car (note here: he has an automatic door unlocker thing, so he unlocks the door, but not once has he opened it for me. which is fine, b/c this is hanging out right? moving on with the story...) so we're in the car and we get to trafalga. We go inside and go to pay for our miniature golf and what do you know suddenly he decides to pay for me. Huh. Weird. (That’s what I’m thinking...since this whole thing is double dutch I was prepared for it to be double dutch.) So we start playing one course outside, and as we're going along, we come to one hole that has a little house that the door opens and closes right? Well...it's broken, so I hold it open so we can play the hole the way it’s supposed to go, and his ball never comes out. Not once. So then we go inside to get a ball. And by the way the kids that worked the desk there were punks but that is a side note.
We continue to play, I get one hole-in-one, which was exciting and then we decide (since we have SO much time) to play another round on the other outdoor course. So we play on the other course, this time it’s going much faster. I got another hole-in-one, and by the way S.C. is SO much better than me. He got a couple more holes-in-one then me, and was much better at being at par then I was. He kept making fun of me for not being gentle enough.

Then its movie time. We get to the theater and we are watching Cinderella Man. I start to get really into it. So does he, actually. Well, about half way through the movie, I get this kink in my neck. So I crack my neck, which went pop pop pop one way and pop pop pop the other way. But the kink didn't go away! So I’m sitting there trying to roll my neck and get the kink out, when all of a sudden I feel this hand on my neck, and there is S.C. rubbing my neck. It felt good. And the kink didn't go away, but it felt better. (here is another side note, so I am a fidgety person during movies, b/c sitting in one place for a long time makes some of my muscles hurt, so I move a lot, and my hands move a lot too, now I didn't think I gave any signs, but whatever.) So my hand is moving right? I fold my arms, I play with it, (this is the left hand by the way, and he is on the left of me.) and I rest it on my knee as I sit cross-legged. Well after S.C. massages my neck, my hand is on my knee. (Where it had been earlier in the evening.) Well S.C. moves his hand, and puts it on his right knee (his right hand...) and I barely feel his hand touch, and I’m thinking what the heck?? So I adjust, but don't really move, in fact now that I think about it, I opened my self up even more, but I wasn't doing it on purpose (or was I? I am still trying to decide this.) Well next thing I know, S.C. is holding my hand. And I’ll admit, although I thought it strange, and I’m trying to figure things out, it felt good. I like holding hands. I don't think I have ever held hands w/someone and I have not liked it. It just isn't possible. Well that's what I think anyways.

So S.C. is holding my hand right? Well...he holds my hand for the rest of the movie (a good 30-45 minutes I think) and as the movie gets more climatic I use his hand and I grip it tighter because I was getting nervous. I mean the movie is based on a true story, and I knew how I WANTED it to end, but I didn't know if it would or not.

K-so movie ends. I have to go to the bathroom sooo bad, so we make a pit stop, and then walk out to his car. Now, remember the side note above about him opening the door? Yeah...he still didn't open a door. So now I am confused, if this is hanging out, or a date (b/c of the hand holding) and if it was a date then I am confused, b/c I will not date someone who doesn't open the door for me. But he's a nice guy, in the middle of his mission. Anyways....So we get in the car, and I am talking about something, the movie I think, using my left hand and it ends up just hanging on the console where I am resting my arm, and then all of a sudden he's holding my hand again...huh.

Now it's time for the doorstep scene. *Side note once again: During the movie, and the ride home, I had the thought (b/c of how well I know S.C.) that S.C. might try to kiss me on the doorstep. The thought just ran through my mind. I decided when this thought ran through my mind though, that I wouldn't let him kiss me. It's our first whatever, didn't start on a date, but somehow kind of turned into a date or something, PLUS he's in the middle of a mission, trying to figure out when he's going back, and I know that he wants to go back. More than anything. So I wasn't going to let him kiss me.* back to the scene. We're walking to my apt. porch thingy and we're not holding hands. So we get to the door and I say "Well S.C. I would invite you in, but its past curfew (12:30 am) and I can't do that." and he says, "That's okay, I don't think my parents know where I am, so I should get home." me: "Okay" and I go in for a hug, because that is what I do after dates right? Well he hugs me too, but it's a tight squeeze, and then while in the embrace he tilts his head and kisses me on the cheek, except it’s not really the cheek, well it is, but it’s by my ear and kinda by my neck. (I so called that! props to me!) I think if I had let him, he might have kissed me on the lips.

So there you go. I went to bed at like 1:15 this morning, and I don't know what to think. Heavens. So give me your thoughts (and sorry this was so long, but when I tell my date stories, I usually find it pretty important to give most of the details.)